“I love you.” It is a very simple statement with a very profound meaning. It can be romantic; I want to grow old with you. It can say, I care about you in a non-romantic way. It can mean you matter. It can mean, we are family. It can also mean, no matter what I will stand alongside you. All of this is love and so much more. Apparently, we don’t say it enough.
We will all need love in different forms throughout our lives. When my mother died, I was as prepared for her death as best as one could be. I attended her funeral, spoke at the viewing and carried her casket. This is my duty. When Mother’s Day arrived this year I found myself grieving. You see, I was born on Mother’s Day in 1963 and this year, 2019, was Mother’s Day and my birthday. But I had no one to call. She wasn’t there anymore. This Mother’s Day was very different; I stayed busy as much as possible and tried not to think. Someday I hope Mother’s Day will be special again. You will never realize how alone you are in this world until your mother is no more. And you never realize how deep that love runs until she is gone.
There is the love that only a lover can give you. It is very special. It will make you feel alive, special, free, and yet so close. It is that breathless kiss and moments afterwards that you will covet. We all need it and can’t wait to experience it again. Yet our society has cheapened it into nothing more than physical exercise. And so our quest for love has only deepened.
Why do I say that we aren’t saying it enough? The millennial generation. It is deemed, by many research studies, to be the loneliest of all generations. This is the generation, again that the research indicates, was the raised by well-meaning and ill-advised parents with the goal of making their children happy. Somewhere along the way the train ran off the tracks. Social media is booming with posts by the billions per day yet so many are suffering from depression, have no meaningful relationships, and seem to be drowning in a sea of loneliness while surrounded by so many. What has cause this? If their parents did everything they could to make their children happy surely they offered great expressions of love. But…… was there accountability?
There is no love where there is no consequences for violating that love. A man who is unfaithful will never respect his woman if she allows him to trample her. The child who openly defies his parents and suffers no consequences will not respect his parents. I have witnessed both. Respect means obedience, faithfulness, attentiveness and consideration. Accountability is the consequence of violating love. It must be firm and delivered with dispatch.
My life has been a great adventure. If I had to choose one word to describe it would be relationships. In essence I have spent my life creating, nurturing, encouraging relationships with mostly young adults. Once we get past the awkward stage of who we are and what’s my angle I make sure they know that they matter. A long time ago I learned, “Those who look for the bad in people will surely find it.” Abraham Lincoln taught me this and if you look at this statement you will realize that just as this quote is true so is the inverse of this statement. Thus I have spent my life looking for the good in all the young adults I have crossed paths with. I have always found the good in each. I have always held them accountable for violating the standards of our friendship and I have loved unconditionally. All of us seek affirmation, acceptance and love. Make sure you tell those you cherish that you love them. I always tell my young friends that I love them. Indeed it matters to them and to me. Yes my life has been a great adventure. It has been full of good times and bad times, but mostly it has been full of love. So go tell someone today.
The Struggle 